What does it mean to wake up?
Yah, Duality. On one hand, I do not understand why some can even think Duality is a thing. I vaguely remember having a mindset of stark contrasts. But then, when I fall into the Maya AGAIN, just because… you know, I can get myself pretty involved. Then I understand what it means to have a mindset like that. It’s not that I’m super detached.
Would it be an easy thing of letting go of all those mundane implications of duality, I’m still not sure whether one would really (voluntarily) free themselves from this concept of Maya. There is simply no benefit in it. Not at all. But once you woke up, can you undo it? No. The most books about spiritual journeys end with: Then I woke up. I got enlightened. And then you woke up- and what? Human Design can help you with this concept of Maya, well. But I think there are a lot of misunderstandings when it comes to the point of Wakening Up. Human Design talks a lot of Waking Up, and basically that means being free from conditioning and fallowing strictly your Strategy and Authority.
Getting rid of Yourself
I think that one can free themselves with Human Design from being conditioned – but does that mean to automatically wake up? Unfortunately not. Getting easy with yourself and the Maya? Yes. Does Waking up automatically means being all of a sudden de-conditioned? No. Does it mean you are still conditioned? No.
So-What does THAT means? See, it is hard to explain, because it is not really explainable. No words would describe this state of consciousness. And against all reason, I will try to explain it anyways, but keep in mind: I can only give you a glimpse, a vague forecast. You are not able to understand it, until you been there yourself. I can’t lead you there – you have to go this road yourself, find your own way. The only thing I can tell you – how to maybe find your path – is: Just get rid of everything you think is true. No Human Design Theory, no Religion, no Philosophy will do what you need to do: Getting rid of yourself. And I mean it. You have to die, before you die. And this is painful. Yes.
No, you are not awake.
Waking up in a – I hate that word, buts lets use it anyways -“spiritual” sense – is the starting point where all the work begins, and at the same time the closure- the endgame, after you have done your job.
This includes not only the dying of your Persona, but also the destruction of your Karma, which was the reason you came on this dark planet earth in first place. And this is beyond pain. I wish I could sugar coat it. I don’t want to go into all the gory details of your Karma, because I don’t want to scare you. You got scared right away, right? Remember when your folks told you the dentist is not as horrible as you think it is? Exactly. But… got used to it, right?
Getting rid of Duality
So basically, after Waking-Up, there is no longer a YOU. Therefore there is no longer a Human Design Profile which would be correct for you. Therefore I am NOT a Mental Projector anymore. This is the reason why I don’t like these two meanings of Waking Up getting confused. The Waking Up I talk about is not the Waking up Human Design Folks are talking about.
Karma vs. Destiny
So let’s talk about it. Karma is what you are as a Human being, what you have been in your previous lives, what your future life will be like, short: what brought you here on this planet, and what you are producing in every act you do or not do.
It shows as your design, your Astrological Chart, your frequency, your upbringing, your parents, your looks, your Genes – short: everything which you think was not in your hands in first place. And even some of the things that have and will happen to you. You have no control over these things, and this is what people talk about, when they refer to you as a passenger. But there is another side though.
Destiny- or fate- is the other bullshit you are dealing with. You can say destiny is all that, which is happening because of your stupid (not-self) behaviour. (But let’s not make a fuzz: the Self HD is talking about is still the Not-Self of Yoga or of other approaches using this term.)
What brought you f. ex. here to read this article is your Destiny. It was some half-conscious decision you made a few minutes ago. Or the decision you made, when you decided to go to the Yoga Class- or to go with your Strategy and Authority, if you are familiar with it.
Free Will?
In this small range of possibilities which have been given to you by your Karma, you decided to go this road. Maybe it was a stupid idea.
You might be unhappy with the outcome. Maybe you didn’t meant to decide that way, but you did it anyway. In this range of Free Will, you have or had the choice to produce certain Karma. Good or bad doesn’t matter, because it is bad anyways, for it still Karma. Even good luck is evil, but it is not necessary to understand this, so don’t worry.
Well, the Ego…
It is quite beneficial for your Ego, when you lean back and say: I had no choice. Something in me made me do this and that.
But that is a slippery slope argument. I mean, how many times a voice in your head whispered: Don’t do this. It is also quite beneficial to say: That is the way I am. That’s just me. But you see, this is the point where Human Design Theory contradicts itself.
Waking Up and Human Design
When you stick to the concept of passenger mode, you just watch yourself (and life as such) like a movie, and you don’t pay much attention- not to even to your mind (as thinking of thoughts) – anymore. But making a difference between Passenger Mode and some Active-Mode is still a concept of duality. It is not the Synthesis. No.
In a sense, your Destiny and your Karma become one, and don’t get me wrong, this is the best possible decision you can make, because you will no longer fuck your life up with half-conscious decisions, and make your Karma worse. You will just accept your Karma and fuck it up on that level. You will live your Karma, or better to say: Karma will live you.
But what if I tell you, that fully Waking-Up means operating from a beyond Karma point of view?
In the Yoga Philosophy they speak of Karmic Wheels.
After you woke up, they are still spinning, but this spinning is no longer caused by you, but by the “you” you was before you woke up. You are no longer producing Karma and therefore they will stop spinning after all the Karma has come to a closure. (My wheels are still spinning. I will tell you more, when they have stopped.)
And this is why you will still have to deal with your Karma, after you woke up.
The ugliest Part of Waking-Up
You will face your Karma fully.
Normally, people only have to deal with small amounts of Karma. This is because most of the time we are not aware of the relations of our Karma. We experience life half-consciously.
When into Human Design, we can see where we act and react because of conditioning, and we can, with a lot of experience, go to the core of our personality and act and live as our “true” self. Which is in itself of extreme value, and I wish everyone could live that way.
The Focus of Identification
But again, this “true self” of the Human Design System is not the Self the Yoga Philosophy f. ex. is talking about: The Self you wake up to, when you finally wake up. Still you blame some mechanics, or Aura-Type, your weird nose, your Karma, whatever- for the stuff that is happening. Maybe you get to a point where you don’t take it so serious anymore, but still.
Still Duality, still Maya
Instead of identifying with the stuff that is happening, you then identify with the stuff itself– what means with whatever concept: the Maya, the universe or what ever you hold for the truth. You might say: I’m unconditioned. You might say: I’m a Mental-Projector. I have this Gate! Or: I’m the Buddha. Maybe you see youself as a spirutal person. Doesn’t matter, because you just shifted your focus of identification on something else.
So what? I still don’t get the Duality-Thing.
I will stop at this point, because, I want not to confuse you more than it was necessary to provoke a certain kind of doubt in your beliefs. But as you can see, there are quite a few similarities between Waking Up as described by the Human Design System, and the “real” Waking Up. To make it a little bit more relatable for the Mind, I briefly will now sum it up:
1. Wakening Up in the Human Design System means living your true Self, and getting rid of all the conditioning which is not you, but built your Persona in first place. It means, living your Design, your Genes, your capacity to the max.
2. Wakening Up in a “Spiritual” (still hate that word) Sense means coming to your true Self-Self, and getting rid of the Karma which is not you, but build your Persona (or HDS true self) in first place.
This means getting rid of EVERYTHING, and I mean it. No Design left to refer to. No life to live. Nothing left. Nada. Niente. Nichts.
You even killed the Buddha in you and your spiritual animal.
The Fun Part: There is no such thing as Duality!
And this is the fun part you will get out of it: You will no longer see a difference between a Not-Self, a Self or a Self-Self.
It is not possible to draw a line between these. You even see then, that there was never a difference between sleeping and you being awake. There is and never was such thing as Duality.
You have always been just what you are: The source. And this is what you just did not see. Yes, this you. The Karma and all this what you thought you are, it was like Make-Up. You wipe it off your face, at the end. And here you are: Painfully naked. But it’s fun, though. Welcome.
As always, so much more needs to be said, and I will, but I leave you with that to meditate on.
XoXo Leni
More spiritual stuff: The 7 Chakras vs. 9 Centres
You might also check out: https://linktr.ee/spiritual_af
